Sometimes lovereally can be measured in pounds and pence.

It's an annualargument.Do we or do we not go on holiday?My partner says no because the boilercould go bad,or the roof fall off,and we have no savings to save us.I say that

you only live onceand we work hard and what's the point if you can't go on holiday.The joy of arecession means no argument next year一we just won't go.

Since money is reputedto be one of the things most likely to bring a relationship to its knees, weshould be grateful.For many families the recession means more than not

booking a holiday. AYouGov poll of 2,000 people in May this year found 22%said they were arguingmore with their partners because of concerns about money.What's less

clear is whetherdivorce and separation rates rise in a recession一financial pressures mean couples argue more but makesplitting up less affordable.A recent report from

ICOR(the onlineInformation Centre on Relationships)cited research showing arguments aboutmoney were especially damaging to couple一even more so to their

children.Disputeswere characterised by intense verbal aggression,tended to be repeated and notre-solved,and made men,more than women,extremely angry.

So why are argumentsabout money so emotive?Since they seem to be so even without a recession,theyhave to be about more than literally pounds and pence.

Kim Stephenson,anoccupational psychologist,believes money is such a big deal because of what itsymbolises,which may be different things to men and women."People can

say the same thingsabout money but have different conceptions of what it is for,"heexplains."They will say it's to save,to spend,for security,for freedom,toshow someone

you love them,tokeep score."

He says men are morelikely to see money as a way of buying status,of trying to best the man downthe road who's just bought a flash car,and of showing their parents that

they've achievedsomething. He warns that,while couples need enough money not to struggle and beunhappy,an extra ￡5,000above that amount won't make them any

happier.

"The biggestproblem is that couples assume each other knows what is going on with theirfinances,but they don't. There seems to be more of a taboo about talking about

money than talkingabout death.But you both need to know what you are doing,who is paying whatinto the joint account and how much you keep separately.In a healthy

relationship,youdon't have to agree about money, but you have to talk about it."

Research from awholesome organization in the U.S.called the National Healthy Marriage Resource Centersays that establishing a"fair and equitable pattern of handling

money early inmarriage appears to be important for the quality and stability of themarriage".Admitting your incomes to each other and making budgets for yourhousehold

expenses may notseem romantic but it is,in fact, the real language of love.The authorsuggests at the end of the passage that couples should__________.

A.put their moneytogether instead of keeping it separately

B.make efforts toreach agreement on their family budgets

C.discuss moneymatters to maintain a healthy relationship

D.avoid arguingabout money matters to remain romantic