The First FourMinutes

When do peopledecide whether or not they want to become friends?During their first fourminutes

together,accordingto a book by Dr. Leonard Zunin.In his book,Contact:The First Four Minutes,he

offers this adviceto anyone interested in starting new friendships:"________(46)A lot ofpeople's whole

lives would changeif they did just that."

You may have noticedthat the average person does not give his undivided attention to someone he has

justmet._________(47)If anyone has ever done this to you,you probably did not likehim very much.

When we areintroduced to new people,the author suggests,we should try to appear friendlyand

self-confident. Ingeneral,he says,"People like people who like themselves".

On the other hand,weshould not make the other person think we are too sure of ourselves.It is

important to appearinterested and sympathetic,realizing that the other person has his ownneeds,fears,and

hopes.

Hearing suchadvice,one might say,"But I'm not a friendly,self-confident person.That'snot my

nature.It would bedishonest for me to act that way."

__________(48)We canbecome accustomed to any changes we choose to make in our personality."Itis

like getting used toa new car. It may be unfamiliar at first,but it goes much better than the oldone."

But isn't itdishonest to give the appearance of friendly self-confidence when we don'tactually feel that

way?Perhaps,butaccording to Dr. Zunin,"total honesty"is not always good for socialrelationships,

especially duringthe first few minutes of contact. There is a time for everything,and a certainamount of

play-acting may bebest for the first few minutes of contact with a stranger. That is not the timeto complain

about one's healthor to mention faults one finds in other people.It is not the time to tell thewhole truth

about one's opinionsand impressions.

________(49)For ahusband and wife or a parent and child,problems often arise during their first

four minutestogether after they have been apart. Dr. Zunin suggests that these first fewminutes together be

treated with care.Ifthere are unpleasant matters to be discussed,they should be dealt with later.

The author says thatinterpersonal relations should be taught as a required course in everyschool,along

withreading,writing,and mathematics.__________(50)That is at least as important ashow much we know._________（46）

A.In reply,Dr. Zuninwould claim that a little practice can help us feel comfortable about changingour social habits.

B.Much of what hasbeen said about strangers also applies to relationships with family members andfriends.

C.In hisopinion,success in life depends mainly on how we get along with other people.

D.Every time youmeet someone in a social situation,give him your undivided attention for fourminutes.

E.He keeps lookingover the other person'S shoulder,as if hoping to find someone more interestingin another part of the room.