People who forgiveshow less depression,anger and stress and more hopefulness.To forgive may bedivine,but no one ever said it was easy.When someone has deeply hurt

you,it can beextremely difficult to let go of your grudge.But forgiveness is possible,and itcan be surprisingly beneficial to your physical and mental health.

"People whoforgive show less depression,anger and stress and more hopefulness,"saysFredric,Ph.D,author of Forgive for Good."So it can help save on the wearand tear on

our organs, reducethe wearing out of the immune system and allow people to feel more vital."

So how do you startthe healing?Try the following steps:

Calm yourself. Todefuse your anger,try a simple stress management technique."Take a coupleof breaths and think of something that gives you pleasurE.a beautiful scene in

nature,or someoneyou love."Frederic says.

Don't wait for anapology. "Many times the person who hurt you has no intention ofapologizing,"Frederic says."They may have wanted to hurt you or theyjust don't see

things the sameway.So if you wait for people to apologize,you could be waiting an awfully longtime."Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean

reconciliation withthe person who upset you or condoning of his or her action.

Take the controlaway from your offender. Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the personwho caused you pain."Instead of focusing on your wounded feeling,learn

to look for thelove, beauty and kindness around you,"Frederic says.

Try to see thingsfrom the other person's perspective.If you empathize with that person,you mayrealize that he or she was acting out of ignorance,fear,even love.To gain

perspective,you maywant to write a letter to yourself from your offender's point of view.

Recognize thebenefits of forgiveness.Research has shown that people who forgive report moreenergy,better appetite and better sleep patterns.

Don't forget toforgive yourself."For some people,forgiving themselves is the biggestchallenge,"Frederic says."But it can rob you self-confidence if youdon't do it."You will still beunder the control of the offender if__________.

A.the offenderrefuses to reconcile with you

B.you keep remindingyourself of the pain

C.the offender neverfeels sorry to you

D.you don't findlove,beauty or kindness